Fucking you idiots over as they always have done. Example 1: Doesn’t release the Apple Hardware Test (AHT) to the public. No, not that bullshit one they have on their support pages, but the real one that actually identifies what the fucking problem is with yo shit appleTop. Bless the disciples of lord GitHub for bringing salvation to the common peoples aka appleAbandoners who have either been so worn out from apple’s repeat anal rape or the other more enlightened or ‘stricken with the nasty common sense bug’ from birth. So you are computer illiterate aka appleProne and your overpriced appleTop takes and appleShit right during your gender studies midterm paper on how triggered you get (cause only fucking idiots and crazies buy anything with the mark of the apple (sorry bite of the apple [Genesis 2:4-3:24 {don’t actually look here; just another fuck you reference from false god Apple, funny how you all deep-throat everything apple without remembering how A&E where tempted and booted by false god Jebus & Father & Friends as well as false apple god as we have come to find out}]) on it, but enough of shitting on the well deserved lesser peoples aka appleConsumers (haha just their natural blissful ignorance is so fucking funny and sad) because they are taking enough up the ass from false god applebite. Anyway, you take your appleTop to the nearest “appleRepairShop” (assuming you live in the western civilized world and not anywhere where the extreme lessers live – can’t find my USB-C hub in pakistan or irok, where is the nearest apple retailer?) to have them run the “always the same answer” Apple Approved (C)(R) Apple Hardware Test (AHT) (C)(R) to tell you that your $750 ±100 (worth in value) appleTookShitTop is going to cost ~$850 to fix. See all AHT really does it takes the market value of the appleTop and applies the iFuckedTheCustomers algorithm with simply adds $100 dollars to the calculated market value. I bet you simple minded appleFolks thought you were smart buying that new appleTop2.0 saying, “yeah brethren, I thought to myself, “why spend $850 to fix my $750 laptop when I can buy a new one for $2000?”” feeling all smart for beating the system ‘n’ shit.. Hopefully one day you will understand the look that your more enlightened non-normies Kek following friend gave you when you told him this feat of the world you have accomplished and understand that he thought of you as a complete fucking idiot for standing in line for 3 days to get your new iFuckedYouAllSoBad as well as being suckered in for about everything that apple that apple has to offer in their compatibility world and hopes that one day you will open your eyes to false god apple and realize that kekistan (the true chosen land and chosen people), while being struck with common sense, is a much better place for Lord Kek and Lord GitHub’s people. Admission is simple. “I will not be a normie, I will not get triggered or overreact, satire and comedy are important freedoms granted in a truly free and open society and will promise to try to not be a douche or apologize if I accidentally was one and most of all, will practice the long lost art of common sense